Tag: domestic violence
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Farmview Drive
Growing up, I only recall two houses that we lived in. The first was attached to the back of a grocery store and it wasn’t very big. I don’t have many memories of that house but I do remember being scared every time the cops would knock on our door and notify us that the […]
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Pressure Perfect
Perfectionist. All one needs to do is read that word and there are immediate thoughts that begin to formulate. Thoughts of how we, ourselves strive for perfectionism; or the face of someone we know pops into our heads because they represent to us what a perfectionist is. I have lived the better part of my […]
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Fear-Based Courage
Fear is an internal battle that we can fight for our whole lives. We may not even be aware of its presence or influence and so it quietly dictates our decisions. But when we choose to look in the eye of fear and face off with it, we can overcome so much more than we […]
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EVIA: The Ultimate Price
Disclaimer: This is a serious story of domestic violence and does not end well. To prevent the identity of “Evia” or her family being exposed, many of the details and the characters in this story have been changed. None of the names are real and the circumstances have been adjusted to maintain discretion. At its […]
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Chameleon
In, To Be or Not To Be, I wrote about the confidence I walk with now. Yet, it was a constant battle to sincerely believe in myself; at times it felt like it was an endless and wearisome dirt road. Along the journey, self-doubt was my constant companion and self-worth relentlessly eluded me. My only […]
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Caution: Inevitable Explosion Ahead
I think we all know people who could easily be described as peacemakers. Usually, they are the quiet ones in the conversation who mostly listen, but they don’t say much. They aren’t necessarily limited to being a certain type of personality, as it is more of a characteristic that they project. We often view these […]
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Pass the Baton
I have been part of the church institution for over three decades. It is not a perfect institution, but it plays an important role in the Christian environment. I served in leadership most of those thirty years and, for over 20 years, served closely with different pastors. I have to be honest, I do not […]
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Silent Prison
One of the most misunderstood and overlooked forms of abuse is emotional abuse. It is easily covered up, easily overlooked, and easily dismissed. Psychology Today defines emotional abuse as: “A pattern of behavior in which the perpetrator insults, humiliates, and generally instills fear in an individual in order to control them. The individual’s reality may become […]
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Rage Storms
There are many symptoms that contribute to the diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). One of those symptoms is defined on the Mayo Clinic1 website as follows: React with rage or contempt and try to belittle the other person to make themselves appear superior. This is the symptom that has profoundly affected my life as […]
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To Be or Not to Be
Narcissism is complicated. Sort of. Up to this point, I have avoided using the term narcissist because it needs to be better clarified. We live in a society that promotes self-centeredness, which gives way to narcissistic behaviors and thought patterns. However, just because you don’t like the way someone treats you or doesn’t act the […]
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Ebony: Part 4
It is one thing to devise an escape plan; it is another to walk it out. The reality is that, as a helper and support person, it requires a lot of time, effort, and constant attention. Although Dick had been evicted from Ebony’s home, he managed to keep controlling her and, unbeknownst to anyone, was […]
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Ebony: Part 3
Self-worth: If you don’t define what it is for yourself, someone else will gladly define it for you. In Ebony’s case, as told in Ebony: Part 1, Joey and Ricky did a thorough job of breaking her down and, when she met Dick, she had no idea how much more breaking could be done. Even […]
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Ebony: Part 2
Someone who is desperately looking for something to fulfill them will keep looking until they find it. Ebony was searching for love and approval and, although she continued to choose abusive men, she couldn’t escape this pattern. Abusers know whom to look for in their victims and Ebony was a clear target. Her deep-seated insecurities […]
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Ebony: Part 1
The cycle of domestic violence is a very difficult one to break and can get passed on for generations. In my last blog, Chasing the Winds of Approval, I wrote about how elusive seeking the approval of someone who is emotionally unavailable can be. Now, I will tell the story of Ebony, who grew up feeling emotionally […]
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Chasing the Winds of Approval
When I look back on my experiences in life I can list so many things that I had to overcome. One of the most difficult, however, was learning how to accept myself even when there was a lack of approval from those around me. It was programmed into my head that I was not smart […]
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Never Cry Again
Domestic violence takes many forms and, although the abuse usually begins with one person, it can quickly become a learned behavior. When you grow up in an abusive environment, children pick up on the behavior and begin to mirror the actions of their abuser in one form or another. You can never tell which way […]
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Eryn
Disclaimer: Every story I share is a real person with a real story. However, I have changed their names, their family dynamics and a few details, in order to protect their identities. When it comes to working with victims of domestic violence (DV) I never planned on doing so. In fact, it took years to […]
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Triple Dog Dare
As we move forward together, it is important to explain that, when I speak of Jesus and His role in my life, it is because I am sharing my life experience in which He plays a vital role. Having said that, I will never criticize anyone holding different beliefs than mine. I am not here […]
Beautifully Unbroken 