Tag: help
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Pressure Perfect
Perfectionist. All one needs to do is read that word and there are immediate thoughts that begin to formulate. Thoughts of how we, ourselves strive for perfectionism; or the face of someone we know pops into our heads because they represent to us what a perfectionist is. I have lived the better part of my […]
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EVIA: The Ultimate Price
Disclaimer: This is a serious story of domestic violence and does not end well. To prevent the identity of “Evia” or her family being exposed, many of the details and the characters in this story have been changed. None of the names are real and the circumstances have been adjusted to maintain discretion. At its […]
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Chameleon
In, To Be or Not To Be, I wrote about the confidence I walk with now. Yet, it was a constant battle to sincerely believe in myself; at times it felt like it was an endless and wearisome dirt road. Along the journey, self-doubt was my constant companion and self-worth relentlessly eluded me. My only […]
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Silent Prison
One of the most misunderstood and overlooked forms of abuse is emotional abuse. It is easily covered up, easily overlooked, and easily dismissed. Psychology Today defines emotional abuse as: “A pattern of behavior in which the perpetrator insults, humiliates, and generally instills fear in an individual in order to control them. The individual’s reality may become […]
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Rage Storms
There are many symptoms that contribute to the diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). One of those symptoms is defined on the Mayo Clinic1 website as follows: React with rage or contempt and try to belittle the other person to make themselves appear superior. This is the symptom that has profoundly affected my life as […]
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Ebony: Part 4
It is one thing to devise an escape plan; it is another to walk it out. The reality is that, as a helper and support person, it requires a lot of time, effort, and constant attention. Although Dick had been evicted from Ebony’s home, he managed to keep controlling her and, unbeknownst to anyone, was […]
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Ebony: Part 3
Self-worth: If you don’t define what it is for yourself, someone else will gladly define it for you. In Ebony’s case, as told in Ebony: Part 1, Joey and Ricky did a thorough job of breaking her down and, when she met Dick, she had no idea how much more breaking could be done. Even […]
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Ebony: Part 2
Someone who is desperately looking for something to fulfill them will keep looking until they find it. Ebony was searching for love and approval and, although she continued to choose abusive men, she couldn’t escape this pattern. Abusers know whom to look for in their victims and Ebony was a clear target. Her deep-seated insecurities […]
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Ebony: Part 1
The cycle of domestic violence is a very difficult one to break and can get passed on for generations. In my last blog, Chasing the Winds of Approval, I wrote about how elusive seeking the approval of someone who is emotionally unavailable can be. Now, I will tell the story of Ebony, who grew up feeling emotionally […]
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Chasing the Winds of Approval
When I look back on my experiences in life I can list so many things that I had to overcome. One of the most difficult, however, was learning how to accept myself even when there was a lack of approval from those around me. It was programmed into my head that I was not smart […]
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Eryn
Disclaimer: Every story I share is a real person with a real story. However, I have changed their names, their family dynamics and a few details, in order to protect their identities. When it comes to working with victims of domestic violence (DV) I never planned on doing so. In fact, it took years to […]
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The Breaking Begins
My father grew up in an extremely violent home and, at the age of 17, lied about his age and joined the Army to escape the violence. Ironically, he ended up fighting in World War II. When he got out of the Army, he married his first wife and had six children. Unfortunately, his drinking, […]
Beautifully Unbroken 