Beautifully Unbroken

As we move forward together, it is important to me that my readers know that when I speak of Jesus and His role in my life, it is because I am sharing my life experience in which He plays a vital role. I am not here to pound my beliefs into anyone but to give credit where credit belongs; if not for Jesus, I literally would not be here today. My passion comes from a heart that has never lost the connection with that broken, 15-year-old girl that was a victim of Domestic Violence (DV), and ended up homeless with no will to live (The Breaking Begins) . I have known extreme loneliness, heartache, and hopelessness, and will do whatever I can to be sure that, anyone feeling like that, knows they have a friend in me.

When it comes specifically to walking alongside a victim of domestic violence, it takes a lot of Love, patience and understanding. Although it pains me to see anyone being hurt, the decision to begin the escape process must be their own. But for them to find the courage to even start thinking about escaping, they need to be surrounded by people they can trust explicitly. Many of the victims that I have worked with have shared their struggle and why they didn’t trust people not to abandon them. Unfortunately, many feel judged and belittled because of their situation. A person in an abusive situation has already been beaten down to the point that they feel completely devalued. The last thing they need is someone else telling them that they are worthless. They need to be built back up so that they can begin to see their value. We as Christians need to show them the Love that Jesus has for them to help empower them to freedom.

Picking up on my story from, The Breaking Begins, my life definitely took an unexpected turn. I had finally saved enough money and was about to move into my first apartment. However, the word on the street was that, in the next three days, we were going to experience uncharacteristically cold weather. As you can imagine, the homeless community was very concerned about surviving in the freezing temperatures. I chose to humble myself and ask my mother if I could stay at her house for those three days. I had heard that she had become a Christian, but I wasn’t sure what that meant or why it mattered. I also didn’t know that my younger brother had given his life to the Lord.

The first night was a Tuesday and it was uneventful. On the next night, however, my brother opened my door and this was our conversation:

And that is how God got me to church…on a Triple Dog Dare. I mean seriously, you can’t lose a Triple Dog Dare! At least not in my day you didn’t! But God didn’t miss that opportunity because I gave my life to Him that night, which was over thirty years ago.

My journey as a Christian has been a mixed bag, as I have had both very positive and very negative experiences. I guess the best way to sum it up is with a phrase that, anyone who has known me very long, has heard me say, “If it wasn’t for Jesus, I could never be a Christian”.  I don’t hate Christians by any means; I just find myself frustrated with the community sometimes. I have been judged more times than I can count, lost relationships simply because I did not fit someone’s idea of what a Christian should be, gossiped about and hurt.

Thankfully, I have a very strong relationship with Jesus and I know that He has my back and Loves me like no one else can. I have also learned quite a bit from being involved in the church and have met phenomenal people! For eight years, I served as the Service Producer/Program Director for a mega-church and that was an incredible time for me. I Loved meeting many different people, working with multiple teams, pouring into countless lives and having a large role in helping to provide a beautiful church experience for others. Unfortunately, when I began to walk through a divorce that was not my choice, the overall response was hurtful and I found the need to get away from traditional Sunday services. Thankfully, I had an amazing, loyal, caring and supportive community that knew me and Loved me. I trusted every one of them to have my back; and they knew that I had theirs. I now live in Nashville and attend an incredible church that, even though I haven’t found my “tribe” yet, it is healthy and challenging!

The way that Jesus lived is how I desire to live my life. I want to spread His Love, not by shaming or devaluing others, but by having genuine and honest love. For me, the key to flourishing in the Christian community was to find like-minded people. I don’t mean people who think exactly like I do, but rather people who are serious about Loving others the way that Jesus does, whether we agree on everything or not.  There is something healthy about having genuine conversations about differences without being concerned about losing the relationship. Disagreement does not have to be a negative word.  I want to be stretched in how and what I think, and I surround myself with others who want the same thing when those beliefs are founded on God’s word.

When I gave my life to God and began to work on overcoming the effects of a childhood clouded by domestic violence, I could have used more love and understanding; instead I faced criticism and judgement for not conforming to the Proverbs 31 woman of God within a certain timeframe. Of course, I do not hold any animosity toward anyone, but I have used my experience to stay aware of what others may face when they enter into a relationship with God. Any person in an abusive relationship should feel safe around believers and not have to worry about how they “look” or “behave”. Jesus meets us where we are without judgement or overreaching expectations. His only requirement is that we give our heart to Him and open ourselves to what He wants to do in our lives. Love, compassion and understanding are enough to gain the trust of victims who are desperate to find trustworthy persons who will help empower them to chase their freedom. Be that person.

Until next time, Love unconditionally and stay safe!