YCMTSU: Home Depot

YCMTSU: Home Depot

I think one of my favorite quotes comes from Ron on Parks and Rec when he visited Home Depot (HD). An eager employee approaches him and says, “Hey, is there a project you are working on?” Ron looks him directly in the eye and responds, “I know more than you.” This is literally how I feel every time I walk into a Home Depot or Lowe’s. The number of times I was able to better help myself over an employee is unbelievable! I honestly think something weird or out of the ordinary happens to me every time I walk into one of those stores. But leave it to me to top my own experiences and have three odd things happen to me during a single visit!

It was a Saturday and I had called ahead to make sure this HD had the proper leaf collector system for my lawn mower because, I had already been to a different HD who said they had it in stock…but they didn’t. So, this was my second HD of the day and it was very busy! I had my trailer hooked up to my baby car and was fully aware of my parking limitations because of it. I circled the parking lot to figure out where to best park before committing to a location. I saw the perfect spot, went down one aisle to get to it and then waited until all vehicles had passed so that I would not get caught in an awkward turn. I made my right turn into the main thruway, then looked down the next aisle to make sure it was clear before proceeding. There was no one coming or going so I started in. Mid turn, a car begins to back out three spaces into the aisle. UGH!!!  I had to stop, now with my car in the aisle and the trailer sticking out awkwardly in the main thruway. As the woman continues to back out her car, other vehicles begin to come down the aisle from the opposite direction than myself. She now has vehicles on either side waiting for her to back out of her spot. She backs out but does not back all the way into the other side of the road; instead, she puts the car in forward, and begins to attempt to move forward in my lane. But here’s the thing, she has nowhere to go because I am right there! I take a quick glance in my rear-view mirror but, because I have had to wait so long for what seems like a simple task, I now have cars on both sides of the main thruway waiting for me to move!!!

Before I continue, keep in mind that she is in my lane and I cannot move forward or backward because of the trailer. This woman and I are now face to face in our cars and she looks at me, puts her angry face on, and then throws her arms up and mouths, “Move the fuck out of my way!” I just look at her, stuffing my old ways down, throw my arms up and mouth, “WHERE???”  She rolls her window down and yells, “Get the hell out of my way!!”  I roll my window down and simply ask, “Where would you like me to go?” and I wave my hand to point out all of the cars who are backed up because of her. She yells, “Oh, for f@ck$ sake!”. I just sit there and smile. My daughter is quite impressed with my restraint by this time! Screaming and yelling all the swear words she can muster up, she backs out into her lane, which she had the ability to do this entire time; and finally starts to drive forward. As she begins to pass by me, she continues with the expletives and holds her middle finger up at me and all I can do is start to laugh because I seriously have no idea what is going on. I begin to pull forward and notice that the people in the truck that were behind her and had witnessed this entire exchange, were also laughing. As we connect eyes, our laughter increases and I just shrug my shoulders because I am just as astounded by this interaction as they are. My daughter looks at me incredulously and says, “What the hell what that all about?” I simply respond, “I don’t know, but there must be something really bad going on in her life to make her that angry.” We let it go, found our parking spot, and headed inside, shaking our heads in disbelief.

I begin to look for the leaf collector I had called ahead for but was unable to find it. The worker I sought help from looked in the exact spot that I had and then says “The online number must be wrong. Sorry, but there is nothing I can do.” I, unwilling to accept this answer, go to the garden section and look high and low until I find said leaf collector system. Unfortunately, it is stored on the top shelf and there is no way we can get it down without killing ourselves. So, we find the same unhelpful guy, who then goes to find a rolling ladder. About ten minutes later, I see him walking my way with another worker who is pushing the ladder. They are whispering intently and it is very clear that the pusher guy is not very happy. In any case, they pull the leaf collector down and we go on our merry way.

As we are passing the flower pots, my daughter remembers that she wanted to pick up a black one for her flowers. I park my large, awkward cart to the side of an aisle and we start looking around. After a few minutes of no luck, she decides to ask an employee where to find them. I kid you not, this is her actual response, “A black pot? No, we don’t carry black pots. No one carries black pots.” My daughter and I, who have purchased many a black pot in our lives, look at each other, say nothing, and walk away.

As we approach my cart, there is a woman touching my leaf collector and checking it out. I walk up and ask, “Can I help you?” She responds, “Yes, I think this is mine.” I smile kindly and nonchalantly reply, “No, it’s mine.” She presses the issue, “But a worker went to get one for me and he hasn’t come back yet.” I, once again with a kind smile reply, “I’m sorry that he hasn’t come back, but this one is mine.” She finally removes her hand and says, “Oh, ok. I wonder where he is.” and looks at me as if she was hoping that I could answer this for her. I just shrug my shoulders and begin to walk to the register. I suddenly have a revelation:  that is what the two guys were arguing about! The angry one had the ladder because he was on his way to get the leaf collector for this lady! I mention this to my daughter, she raises her eyebrows, we get silly smiles on our faces and we quicken our steps! Feeling like we just stole something, we find the shortest line, check out quickly, and get back to our car!!!  Poor lady…but, hey, I called ahead and was promised a leaf collector system so it was mine fair and square. My guilt only lasted about 30 seconds. I think I avoided HD for quite some time after that. It’s exhausting man!


Until next time, go to HD but stay alert and stay safe!

2 responses to “YCMTSU: Home Depot”

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